November 8, 2010 3pm In bed with a tear stained face.
When Ben got out of the shower, we started watching music videos on youtube and one was to the song “Love the Way You Lie” but Eminem feat. Rihanna. And it was of an abusive relationship. Memories flooded through my head of my mom getting punched and thrown on the ground. I was around three and this man was hurting her I was just sitting there watching it. Then he came to me and picked me up and shook me telling me that my mom was a bitch and how he should kill her. And then he threw me on ground. Ran to her and slapped her over and over she was crying and yelling at God to help her. And I was on the ground bleeding while tears ran down my face.
After a while he left. My mom was bruised and bleeding her face was swollen. My arms were bleeding. Then the memories stopped coming and just repeated them selves. I started crying. Ben looked at me and my tear stained face with streaks of mascara running down my cheeks. He looked so confused.
“What’s wrong Blake? Why are you crying?” He said in a loving tone. I just sat there crying, shaking my head. I did not know if it was real or not. But it felt so true. This was the first time I had ever remembered this.
Ben grabbed my hands and walked me over to his bed and we laid there. I was crying still hard as ever. Then they finally slowed down after about ten minutes. I told him what I remembered.
“Hey it was probably just your brain going wild. Trust me no one could ever hurt you or your mom.” He said as I cried. Then more memories came. The man was in a room with me and he shoved me up against the wall he had a pair of scissors in his hand. He opened then and pulled my shirt off and cut my back. I was so little. It hurt like hell.
“I just remembered more. The man came in my room when I was younger and he shoved me up against the wall he had a pair of scissors in his hand. He opened then and pull my shirt off and cut my back. Its true. I was so little, so little.” I sat there repeating I was so little. Ben grabbed me and pulled me into his lap and put his arms around me. It was so sweet and comforting.
“If he did cut you that bad wouldn’t you have a scar?”
“Yeah, I am pretty sure I do. My mom told me that its was a birth mark and it was fine all kids have it and said it would go away. So I paid little attention to it.”
“Well look. And then you will know if it’s true. I doubt it is.”
I stepped off his bed took my tank top off and turned around so he could see my back. I know it might seem bad but I needed to know. I had a bra on so he did not see anything. He stood up and looked at my back. He sighed as though there was a scar. Then he put his hand on my back and traced the shape of then scar. It was a heart with an X on top of it.
“Yeah you have one. It’s a heart with and X over it. I cant believe some man would do this to you. I don’t know what to say Blake. I am so sorry. If I ever meet this man I will kill him. He had no right to do this to you.”
I turned around and said, “I know why he did it. He said I deserved no love.”
“You deserve all the love in this whole world.”
He pulled me in and hugged me. His hands were on my bare back it felt so good. After that I put my pink tank top back on. He took me on his bike and we went down to Sallys Beauty Supplies and he bought rine stones that had glue that stayed on skin for over 2 weeks. He said it was a surprise what they were for.
Now I am in my room still sad and crying a little bit. Ben had to go feed the dogs. And when he comes back he said he will show me what the rine stones are for. I cant wait to see. Lol I mean what is he gonna do with them and why all of the sudden. He is hilarious. Man he sure does make me smile a lot.
November 9, 2010 2am In bed.:)
After Ben fed the dogs, he came up stairs to my room and in his hand were the rhinestones and a wash cloth. And he stated to explain.
“Ok so what we are going to do is the rhinestones are going to go on top of you scare and ill make them into the shape of a heart. They will stay on for about a month. I think it will look pretty cool.”
“Ok go ahead have fun.”
So I took my shirt off and laid on the bed. Ok I know you are thinking OMG she is such a slut but no I am not. I really didn’t feel bad about it. I was wearing a sports bra. People run with them on, ON THE HIGH WAY!! So I was fine with it and so was he. He grabbed the rhinestones one by one and placed them on my back. It felt kinda weird cause he was like working right on top of me.
“So what do you want to do this afternoon, Blake?”
“Oh I want to have a swim party. Haha”
“Ok, we can invite Myles, Jesse, and Connor. We had fun together last time right?”
“Haha I was really just kidding but yeah lets do it.”
OK guys so that is all I have written. Tell me your ideas of where you want me to take this story next. Other challenges she should go through? What things are you going through?
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